Wednesday, May 25, 2011

It's going to happen...

We found a package on the front porch. 
A small package, like a book. Wrapped in brown paper, like an old grocery bag. 
Our name and address were printed on it. But no return address was visible. 
The stamps in the top right corner looked to be re-used, as if they didn't apply to this delivery. 
The package was in the cubby hole of the front door post, where our postman often leaves his delivery. 

We ripped the brown wrapping over. Inside? A book.
Not just "A" book, but "THE" book."THE" book that will help us defend ourselves from lawn warriors  -
- the garden gnomes. 

But, mind you, we haven't been worried about any garden gnomes/warriors. Our garden seemed to be gnome free.  Until now...

Now we have suspicious activity every day. The Radio Flyer wagon has been tipped on its side.
Crop circles are appearing in the vineyard. 
The dogs' tennis/fetch balls are constantly being arranged in weird patterns, similar to arrows pointing to the pond.
The patio chairs are rearranged. It now looks like the Mad Hatter had his tea-party here.

The solar lights we have in the flower bed have been re-directed. They all point to one spot on the patio floor - as if it were a dance floor now.

We both agree - it is time to read the book. 
Before the gnomes do.

11 comments:

Cyndi and Stumpy said...

somebody, somewhere knows you're in trouble and hopes the book will help!

If the trolls and the gnomes unite forces you could be in serious trouble! I hope the book covers that scenario!

Cyndi and Stumpy said...

Oh! and I meant to thank you for the laugh! I mean, it's funny now, but...

Stella said...

Minnesnowda Gnomes are decent little people, you can reason with them and they don't leave things in a mess. Maybe its because they like to come inside for the winter. I don't know about AZ Gnomes, maybe the heat has fried their tiny brains and they are not so good natured. Let us know, will you?

Cheers,
Jo, Stella and Zkhat

Kathy said...

A gnomish mystery indeed!

Thérèse said...

A really good start for a new series. How fun!

altadenahiker said...

Hah! and be afraid, be very afraid.

Sandra said...

that is a lot of gnomes, read that book NOW

Banjo52 said...

Worse than a Big Mac attack?

Barb said...

Brenda - too funny! I hope you're a fast reader. Those little devils are having their way with your property!

Whitemist said...

I am gnome free tahnks to the wasps, but i hear they are learning to deal with them also!

Snapper II said...

It is frightening. I fear it is to late for me. My garden is being attacked by bugs!!!!!! A few Gnome's might be a welcome defence. I might like to have a dozen or so. So I can defend myself against the lawn invaders.