It's going to happen...

We found a package on the front porch. 

A small package, like a book. Wrapped in brown paper, like an old grocery bag. 

Our name and address were printed on it. But no return address was visible. 

The stamps in the top right corner looked to be re-used, as if they didn't apply to this delivery. 

The package was in the cubby hole of the front door post, where our postman often leaves his delivery. 

We ripped the brown wrapping over. Inside? A book.

Not just "A" book, but "THE" book."THE" book that will help us defend ourselves from lawn warriors  -

- the garden gnomes. 

But, mind you, we haven't been worried about any garden gnomes/warriors. Our garden seemed to be gnome free.  Until now...

Now we have suspicious activity every day. The Radio Flyer wagon has been tipped on its side.

Crop circles are appearing in the vineyard. 

The dogs' tennis/fetch balls are constantly being arranged in weird patterns, similar to arrows pointing to the pond.

The patio chairs are rearranged. It now looks like the Mad Hatter had his tea-party here.

The solar lights we have in the flower bed have been re-directed. They all point to one spot on the patio floor - as if it were a dance floor now.

We both agree - it is time to read the book. 

Before the gnomes do.